Still Alice

I find it kinda interesting that when I speak of a topic, I tend to go on a roll with it. Last time, it was soft drink related adds, this time it's Alzheimer.

I recently finished a book called Still Alice. Long story short, it's about Alice, a fictional professor at Harvard, and her struggle with early onset Alzheimer. I don't want to spoil the book for anyone, so that's as far as a summary as I will give. But this book certainly raised several questions in my mind.

What would I prefer? Alzheimer or Cancer? On one hand, Alzheimer is a progressive debilitating disease which eventually renders you senseless to the world - but by then, you wouldn't really care, would you? There's no cure for Alzheimer but at least you don't have to handle the pain or know your own incompetence at the very end. On the other hand, cancer is a struggle. You have ways of dealing with it whether by chemotherapy or whatever new technological advances are out there. But is it really worth it in the end...?

What would I choose between Alzheimer or death? This might seem like a stupid question, but at some point, I think I would rather die than deal with Alzheimer. I can't imagine being completely dependent on someone and the burden that would cause them. The thought that one day, I might not be able to dress myself, feed myself, or even find the restroom in my own house is just too much. The thought that one day, I'd stare at my parents or spouse or children and not recognize them is too unbearable. So if it ever comes down to it...I think I'd rather suicide - that is, if I still have enough sense to do it.

What does this mean for your children? Alzheimer, especially early onset Alzheimer is hereditary. Would you have children at all despite the chance that they have 1/2 a chance of getting Alzheimer too? Or perhaps you would use technology to pick out which zygote to keep or not...but is that ethical? It's definitely for a good cause, but then we'd have to consider does the infected egg still counts as a child...

What if one day my mom contracted Alzheimers? How would I react? Is there a time to give up on her? Would I give up on her? What if there comes a time that I can no longer take care of her? Would I be able to handle it if she looks at me like looking at a stranger?

I don't know.

'Til Next Time

TM